It’s a funny feeling crossing through a portal, a milestone that changes everything you thought was true. It happens so fast while time ticks by slowly.
I am a mother.
A phrase I couldn’t say until today. A phrase I never yearned for or wished was true, but somehow feels so right. Thoughts that seem like they should be foreign are becoming familiar; my son asleep in my arms is peacefully dreaming while his face contorts then relaxes making me wonder what babies dream about. I get lost in daydreams picturing what he will look like when he gets old enough to walk, what will his first word be and what will he decide to be when he gets older. And then I catch myself noticing how much he’s grown in only 2 weeks and am grateful he still fits snugly in my arms. Even his cries are a wonder to watch, his little grunts and attempts to make me understand everything he knows about the world.
His birth was a portal, a welcome into motherhood, a joining of the ranks of women who have grown a child. It’s given me perspective on how wonderful this body is. The changes and extremes my abdomen can make in order to create a loving atmosphere where a baby can incubate and then eject out when it’s ready to face our world. And then what happens when he was born? He took a breath, he cried and he was fed, held close and nurtured. Even if the medical theories have differed through the ages, the above remains true; all we need is love.
Previously I viewed my artwork as an exploration of human experience, particularly in expression and feeling love. What greater experience than giving birth to a child? Now I realize my son is my greatest piece of art, a piece created intuitively and brought forth through intentional labor and after standing back to admire, I realize that he is much greater than me.. a collaboration with nature. And my heart expands that much further.
In the last year I’ve struggled to find a home. I’m living in Minneapolis currently and will be here for the foreseeable future, though only time will tell how long that is. I have an itch to continue spreading my wings, now with the added bonus of watching my son develop and showing him the world. I’ve been blessed with the ability to continue my art, now delving into a loving home and family life. I vow to continue following my passion and sharing my perspective of love in this world. Will you join me?